This morning, from the moment I started to wake up, my heart was badly troubled. By the time I was truly awake, I was in the weeds. I won’t take you through the specifics, or the long trek by which my identity restored itself, but I will offer the heart of a son for moments like this.
We are all in different stages, as our individual sonships become an all-the-way-through reality by which we are unshaken in every place. Many times we gauge this by how we feel at the moment. If we feel strong, our sonship is strong. If we feel bad, our sonship is weak. This is a lie, and as we learn who we are, we overcome it.
Our feelings are strong, purposefully, and are not to be ignored. Ignoring our emotions is not the victory of them. They are to be experienced, tested, sometimes communicated, and most importantly, submitted–to the reality of Jesus. In this, we are invited to align every detail of who we think we are to who HE SAYS we are.
Therein lies a shaking.
However, it is not the shaking that brings forth the reality of our sonship, but our willingness to stubbornly and calmly adhere to the rock of Jesus despite how we feel. Sometimes, even that rock seems to shake, but this reveals only our own inaccuracies about Him. When we trust Him, we discover with unspeakable joy an unshakeable union with Him. Fear speaks, but love in relationship drowns him out.
We learn to relax when everything shakes, completely and entirely unthreatened. Greater is He who is in me…
Do not allow familiarity to breed contempt in these simple and eternal truths that Jesus gave us. His originals are still perfectly current:
I am the Bread of Life. When we are in the weeds, we tend to seek strength and comfort in artificial places, much like a child who wants candy when truly, they need meat and vegetables. In those moments, we become acutely aware that our religious structures are empty of what our heart so clearly needs. This is true–but it is not true that Jesus is empty of what we need. The shaking puts us in the position to relearn what is is to taste and see, showing us all the places we believed were food, but are not.
I will never forget the day that I was so hungry and broken–and in full rebellion because I knew every place I thought to go for help wasn’t going to fill me. I became hopeless and depressed, believing I was alone. I got in the shower and wept to Jesus, angry and confused–and I encountered Jesus as Bread of Life for the first time. Him and me–in reality–in Spirit and in Truth–at the core of who I really am. That day, I sang to Him you are my Bread of Life, and I knew what His food really was. I knew why He said man does not live by bread alone.
We don’t have to climb out of the weeds. In the moment we fix our eyes on Jesus and eat of Him, we lose sight of the weeds entirely, instantly restored to our rightful authority and perspective. This isn’t something our flesh accomplishes, it is something our spirit remembers.
I am the Door. I believe much of our internal drama exists because we attempt to walk through the dreams inside of us before we have established the spiritual maturity to carry them. We begin to get glimpses of big things, glimmers of explosive visions and hints of how big we really are, and we latch onto those dreams instead of taking hold of Him–forgetting that Jesus is the context for everything we will ever manifest.
It is understandable to take encouragement when our hearts begin to believe that we are truly important, because the world bars no holds in accusing us of insignificance. It is undeniably soothing to hear our heart start saying I have ideas in me! I see things! I believe that this new thing is possible! But take care that we do not allow the revelations of the Spirit to become opportunities for the flesh.
To dive in there, before Jesus fills what He was begun to reveal, is much like a toddler running foolishly to the deep end of the pool, unequipped to live through the adventure he’s chasing. There is an unromantic middle–the training up of the men who will carry the mission–and it is non-negotiable. The delay of time between the recognition of an idea, and the walking out of a vision is only frustrating to foolish men, and we can gauge where we are in maturity by how willing we are to trust the Father to open the right door, in the right place, at the right time, for the realization of what we hope for.
In the meantime, stay faithful and do not despise small opportunities and responsibilities. See them as the invitation that they are, and pave open your availability to them. Make it so that the Father can say of you, as he did in Revelation 3: “He who is holy, who is true, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, and who shuts and no one opens, says this: I know your deeds. Behold, I have put before you an open door which no one can shut, because you have a little power, and have kept My word, and have not denied My name….”
There are many more more things I could say, but truly, the best of it is this: Jesus is. He is. And everything we are encountering and overcoming is meant to bring us to the irreversible and unshakable Root by which we not only are convinced of His identity but of our own.
And in His love, Jesus also bars no holds in his perfect commitment to bring forth in us a life that really lives Him.